A few fries short of a Happy Meal.

A few beers short of a six-pack.

One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.

A few crumbs short of a crouton.

A few feathers short of a whole duck

One taco short of a combination plate.

An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.

A few clowns short of a circus.

The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.

A few peas short of a casserole.

Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.

As smart as bait.

Chimney's clogged.

An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.

Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.

He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

Elevator doesn't go all th eway to the top floor.

All foam, no beer.

Forgot to pay her brain bill.

Your as welcome as a fart in an elevator.

Your about as useful as a chocolate fireguard.

One day you'll go far and I hope you stay there.

If brains were made of dynamite, you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose.

There's no battle of wits between you and me. I never pick on an unarmed man.

Hey, I know what sign you were born under, 'Red Light District'.

If wit were sh*t, you'd be constipated.

Your feet smell that bad, even cheese refuse to grow on them.

Its mind over matter. I don't mind cos you don't matter.

You started at the bottom, and it's been downhill since.

You're living proof that a man can live without a brain.

I'd like to help you out, which way did you come in?

If your brain was chocolate, it'd fill an M&M.

I'm busy now, can I ignore you another time?

I don't know what makes you stupid, but it certainly works.

Can I borrow your face for a few days while my behind takes a holiday?

I'm not as dumb as you look.

You don't know whether to scratch your watch, or wind your behind.

Your so ugly, you had tinted windows on your incubator.

I'll never forget the first time we met, although I'll keep trying.

Is that your nose, or are you eating a banana?

Are you stupid, or just possessed by a retarded ghost?

I certainly hope you're sterile.

Go fart peas at the moon.

I'd love to go out with you, but my favourate tv commercial is on tonight.

You're so poor, you can't afford to pay attention.

Mirrors don't talk, but lucky for you they don't laugh either.

You're living proof that manure can grow legs and walk.

You're as useless as rubber lips on a woodpecker.

Are you related to fungi?

You're a habit I'd like to kick... with both feet.

If I had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents.

You're so fat, the captain makes you stand in the center of the ship on cruises.

Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism, would you like to try it?

You're so dumb, in a fight you got knocked conscious.

If stupidity was wealth, you'd be the richest person in the world.

You're not the brightest crayon in the box are you?

I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can diet.

You are one of the reasons abortion is legal.

Don't sit down, you'll get brain damage.

You still in flower of youth eh? A blooming idiot.

Just how dumb are you? I heard you got stabbed in a shoot-out.

Some people are has beens, you never was and never will be..

Is it true you're so thick, you got fired from the M&M factory for throwing out all the W's?

Its ok, I do understand you, I have a way with dumb animals.