Warning consumption of alcohol may lead you to think that a '2' is a '10'.

Warning consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN

Warning consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

Warning consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

Warning consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants.

Warning consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.

Warning consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

Warning consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy, named Chuck.

Warning consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you

Warning Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard off a shit truck at 100 yards.

Warning Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.

Warning Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you REALLY THINK while photocopying your butt at the office Christmas party.

AND Instead of warning women not to drink when they are pregnant --- the new guidelines should read...

Warning consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of pregnancy in the world. Proceed with caution.